Sunday, July 11, 2010

adventures at downeast outfitters.

My place of employment is probably the greatest.
I really love working there. I love all the people that I work with.
And sometimes I really like the quirky customers. Sometimes they are mean. And needy. But sometimes they are sweet and shower you with complements.
Sometimes they let their children run wild. And they pretend that our manikins are human shaped jungle gyms. Something genuinely weird happens just about e'ry time I work. I, a loyal employee, have gathered a few tales for you from my hands on experience. They're superb.

The other day a, ahem, skankily dressed woman wearing high heels that she could NOT walk in came into the store. She talked on the phone to someone about how much money she was making. Then she paid with 52 one dollar bills. Any guesses on her profession?

One of my absolute biggest pet peeves is when mothers let their little children run wild. I'm not going to get into it because I could go on and on about it for ten years. But I cannot handle it. One time a girl brought in the kids she was babysitting so she could shop. That right there = mistake. The kids ran absolutely amok screaming and such, and finally the little boy smacked his head into one of our tables and started bleeding all over the place. Ridiculous.

I also witnessed a little girl pull every single perfectly folded stack of camisoles off of a table and throw them around. Then her mother came over to her and said "No, no." Then walked away. So the little girl did it again to another table.

We have a table back by the dressing rooms for folding clothes on and such. I came into work one day and there were two baby carriers on top of it. With babies in them. Where were their mothers? No one knew. So I kidnapped them. Just kidding. But I probably could have. Actually I'm POSITIVE I could have.

Yesterday someone's little kid pulled a glass bowl of bracelets off our counter and it broke into a jillion pieces. After it was all cleaned up I took out the trash bag that was full of the deadly little shards. Of course one was sticking out of the bag. And of course I hit my leg with it and sliced it. Dun dun dundundun dun dun dun METAL.



And finally, my personal favorite is when drunks and/or the "trashed and thrashed" come in. Once a woman who was completely wasted started taking all of her clothes off back by the jeans.

There is also an adorable male duo who I have seen twice. One is very tall with a very low voice and smells like cigarettes, and the other is very short and has the thinnest stringiest hair I've ever seen down to his shoulders. Anyways, they were going up to the register to pay and I looked over and the tall one's butt had completely emerged from his pants. Completely.

DownEast, I LOVE you.

2 comments:

Sharon.Ovalle.♥. said...

"Is this a swimsuit?"

the carlisle said...

hahaha oh man that's insane. love it.