Monday, June 13, 2011

like an itch you can't scratch.

I'm going to add a few more things to my bottom ten. These have all happened to me in the past while. Maybe I am just irritable lately? Or going off the deep end? Probs.

1. When people walk in while you are watching Lost and start blurting out spoilers. I doubt that there is anything worse, and I might kill you for it.

2. Opening bands. Heaven forbid I want to watch what I CAME FOR. Just take up two hours with your nonsense and bad rapping and weird drug induced trances, go ahead.

3. When someone keeps interrupting you while you are eating. Or watching you while you are eating. Or just sitting somewhat nearby you while you are eating and doing something quietly so all you can hear is yourself chewing so it seems like the loudest, grossest thing ever right in front of someone and it's just really awkward.

4. When you are trying to talk to someone and you. Just. CAN'T. Like you suddenly have some odd speech impediment and you sound lame and crazy. Especially if it is someone you know and like very much, and you want them to think you are all witty and maybe want to see your face again someday, and all you can sound like is some blasted fool that can't control your word vomit or keeps stuttering in weird places. Even better, your face turns beet red for no reason.

5. Getting pulled over on your way to work and having to call your boss and tell her that you are going to be late because you are being pulled over.

6. When you are at the rec center, and you want to go over and maybe lift some weights, but there is a flock of sweaty teenage boys that went to your high school that you kind of know in an awkward sort of way blocking the entire weight lifting area. Or when the area is dotted with a few ripped men that you would just feel like a fool lifting those puny 12 pounds weights in front of their 100 pound bicep curl capable arms. I see that and I'm like, there's no way I'm going over there. I'll just go home and eat 1200 calories of chocolate.

7. Roadkill that you have to drive past every day. No one will clean it up. So each day it is a bit more pulverized.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It feels good to get that out.


jessie said...

number 4.
holy. i have that problem.

Nicole said...

the other day i was driving to work and there was a cat that had been run over in the road. i started crying and had to say several mental prayers for the cat before i started feeling better. and then the cat was still there on my way home. i tried to not tear up again.
anyways, i knew you would understand.