day 24: waterworks

What makes me cry. Not very many things do..
Movies and books in which people die. Like PS I Love You and Harry Potter and Inkheart. I also bawled my eyes out after reading Where The Red Fern Grows and Shiloh. I get attached to characters like nobody's business.
I cry when I am super super nervous and stressy-excited at the same time and I cry when I'm embarrassed. If I am in certain moods, certain songs will get me.
And there have been I think 5 times in my life where I have been so happy that I have cried. Not counting all the times that I have cried from laughing too hard.
I also cried forever when Steve Irwin died and I cried when Sanjaya got voted off American Idol. (Does anyone even remember him?) How embarrassing.

day 23: feeling better.

Something that makes me feel better:

#1 best: Talking to Chris. He is like a sponge that absorbs everything.
HUGS (my love language IS physical touch). 'Specially ginger ones
Going to sleep. Starting over a new day always helps.
Shopping.
Writing in my juuurn
Petting my kitty cat.
Blasting music. Happy stuff like Muse and Hockey and The Strokes and V.Weekend & loud stuff like Sounds of Animals Fighting and Ratatat and Tech N9ne.
Being with the Ace Gang. All of them take your mind off anything and some of them are wonderful at listening to you vent!
EATING CHOCOLATE like there is no tomorrow.
Running and running without stopping.
And, blocking things out. I am absolutely PRO at this.

day 22: cry baby cry

I am really taking my time on this thirty days thing. Oh well, it's my blog and I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. Like skip day 21 cause I can't think of anything.

Day 22: What upsets me.
I get upset when people are mad at me and I'm just trying to make things better again but they just WON'T. I'm upset when I think I nail a test and actually get a 72% on it. I get upset when I see roadkill and I'm upset when I lose important things. I'm upset when I have to be patient but am going INSANE! And I'm upset when dumb things are out of my control. But I get over it. Sigh.

I saw this today:


Highly recommended. Go see it. It is like Taken and Salt all in one (and I love both of those). Besides. Liam Neeson has the most dramatic, epic voice of any human. You know it's true! I swear that is like 50% of why he is so good at being a bad-A in every movie. Kindof wish he was my dad or something.

day 20: this month

I had lots of weird dreams and wrote lots of letters and schooled schooled schooled and worked worked worked.

You know what I want to do more than ANYTHING right now?
Read. A freagging. BOOK. I MISS READING!!!!! Any time I read I feel intensely guilty like I should be doing homework. CURSE YOU COLLEGE. When this semester is over I am going to read one jillion books. I will sizzle up in the sun reading all afternoon. I feel like I have lost a good friend by not reading. I feel like books went on a mission too.
I'm going to read this:



And this



And these



And this because it has been many, many moons



And a bit of this



And this because I am incredibly attracted to post-apocalypse-type books



And these AGAIN



And plenty of cheesey fantasies cause they are my absolute FAVE, like this



And this



And all of these and laugh my GUTS out



And of course, all of these, happily, again and again forever and EVER



And many many more.
Summer come SOON!

day 19: something you regret

Not doing stuff. Not giving people complements all the time. Not being outgoing and saying hi to people. Missing opportunities to do good. Not volunteering. Not smiling more. Not doing something that makes life worth living every single day.

day 18: favorite birth date

I'm late on this, but who cares really?
Favorite birthday.
I don't think I've ever had a favorite. Minus my 16th (oh the horror), they have all been just plain ol' fun and enjoyable. Maybe, to be ridiculously and annoyingly profound, my favorite birthday was the day I was born onto this neat planet. Alright cool.

day 17: BLOG NEGLECT/flavorite memory

Disneyland with Chris. The few days before and the day of that he asked me to be his guurl. And all the times with Chris that are the best. Lake Powell. Oregon for Orch tour. Africa. MGMT and Muse in concert too. And the week of graduation with all my frenz. This here stuff.

day 16: first kiss

9th grade, steamy May night, right after the most awesome party my palz threw for me cause I was moving (I ended up not). It was at Noah's. Me and the boy (boyfriend at the time, the very first) walked to the side of the building cause we knew it was going to happen. Then we both turned and it just happened. And we walked back. That's about it. Oh yes, it WAS completely entirely magical, but I don't feel like writing a lot.

Also I feel like a dumb idiot, there were two day 14's.

day 14: my dreamz.

Marry this crazy person



Live in Oregon somewhere near the coast



Be one of these with animals always surrounding me all over like this



Just any profession where I get to see/work with animals, really. Anything. I'd also love to do something in fashion.
I dream of being rich enough to go to New York and SHOP the days away. And owning a wardrobe filled with JCrew, Anthropologie and UO.
I dream of reading piles and piles and piles of books.
I also dream of meeting Sondre Lerche and JK Rowling and the men of MGMT.
I also want bout 3 (ginger) children, and a menagerie. I want cats. Dogs. Bunnies. Goats. Birds. Fish. A giant aquarium. So many freakin' fish cause I freakin' love them. And rodents. All of it. And I want, I NEED, CHUCKENS, WANDERING ALL OVER MY FRONT YARD.
And I wanna travel the world with Chris doing good things. And to grow old with my 11 best friends and rock on our porches til dusk discussing the wonders of life.
I want to die shortly after my hubz does, or vise versa. And to die satisfied. And go to heav. I'm excited.
It all BETTER come true.

day 14: what i wore again.

I really didn't wanna blog yesterday, so here's day 14.



HEAR ME OUT: Mirror pictures are already sooooooo myspace that I threw in the classic myspace look and peace sign as well for DOUBLE trouble. Aw yeah.

FUN FACT: I literally got this skirt for a penny. I had exactly 16 dollars left of my bonus Christmas money at work. My total was $16.01. I only paid one measly penny.

FUN FACT: This ENTIRE outfit is from Downeast.....I have become their slave. (Willingly.)

STORY TIME: Chris's email today was superb. So last week his companion Elder Shannon started peeing blood. Sick, right? So they got to LEAVE THE MTC and GO TO THE HOSPITAL cause it was that bad. They were sitting there and then some policemen came in and said something about suspicious noises IN THE CEILING. So they climbed up there. Then bout ten minutes later they hear an "emergency code red" type of message over the intercom. There was an ESCAPED CONVICT running around IN THE CEILING. Apparently he told the hospital workers that he needed to go to the bathroom and then climbed into the ceiling. The boyz were trapped in the hospital for two hours. The policemen even brought dogs in. And the convict ESCAPED. Insane. I say this with the absolute utmost sincerity that I possess when I say that THEEE CRAZIEST things ALWAYS happen to Chris. ALWAYS. It is bloody uncanny. I wish so hard that my life was that exciting. I seriously am stoked for the Russia stories. So, I am not surprised in the least that this occurred. Awesome to read about though. And E Shannon will be alright....they just have to go to the hospital a couple more times. (!!!!) So for the next week if anyone wonders where I am, I'm just lurking around at the hospital. So don't worry.

PS Jenna Dobry, it was just peachy seeing you today.

day 13: my week.

Last week.
Mondee: School then work.
Tuesdee: Took a retarded Biology test, destroyed my self esteem, email from Ging, school and work.
Wednesdee: School then work.
Thursdee: Worked out and killed myself and liked it, worked, got a fantastic happy letter from Ging.
Fridee: School all day, nearly exploded of stress during Chemistry, received not one, not two, but THREE letters in the mail, crazy dance party at night.
Saturdee: Slept in, worked all day, came home and wrote Chris and studied and slept.
Sundee: Studied, homeworked, cleaned, laundered, hated/doubted everything, ate til I felt sick and barely watched football.

I am starting to hate my life. Refer to above if you need explanation.
And today was nothing short of wretched. It is not a happy day.

day 12: in the bag.

I have this brown pleather bag that bought it probably 3 years ago from Forever 21 and it was exactly what I was looking for. And since then, I have tried other purses, but none compare to this one. My favorite is the over-the-shoulder strap. Shoulder strap = free hands and arms. Yes.
What's in her, you ask?
-One time I littered a small gum wrapper in a parking lot and from that moment forth Chris vowed to put every bit of trash that he possibly could find into my purse as punishment. There are still straw wrappers in there from him. And he keeps sending me paper shreds in his letters to put in there. Ridiculous.
-Camera (For all precious moments and other)
-Planner
-A nifty pouch filled with bobbies, one jillion lip glosses, chappy, girly things, a backup mascara, and hand sanitizer.
-Ibuprofen (I find myself drug dealing QUITE frequently)
-Stride green flavor gum (thee best for blowing bubbles)
-Gloves
-Keys
-Wallet
-Spare headphones
-Yellow iPod Nano

day 11: my bra. the sibling kind.

I have been excited to do this day.
I only have one sib. He is my brother Wyatt. If you say his name and stick out your tongue on the "wy" part and just hold it for a while before the "att", you will have a feel for how I say his name every time.
We are best frans. He is the perfect little bra.
He loves my clothes and takes after my music tastes. He loves Muse, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, The Fall of Troy, Sondre Lerche, Shiny Toy Guns, Crystal Castles, etc etc. It makes me so proud and makes me feel cool. And he's showed me Miike Snow and Islands, which are favorites.
He is an AAAAAAMAZING artist. Drawing, paint, graphic design, music. He has incredible things going for him. He could EXCEL! in anything art-related.
He has the best sense of humor. We think the EXACT same things are funny. Even though they are so dumb. It makes me glad that SOMEONE will laugh at them with me. No matter what. And whenever I see a youtube video or hear something funny, he is the first person I tell.
His best friend is a Russian and they are so mischievous. So awesome.
Fun story. One time he threw a book at me and it hit me in the eye and sliced it up 3 days before picture day. Such a fond memory now.
And one time. He got hit by a car. Maybe that story will be for another day.
He is the most laid-back person you will ever meet. He never gets mad at stuff and when he does he completely hides it.
I'm positive he would do anything for me.
The best parts of my childhood were with him. We LOVED beanie babies, pokemon, gameboys, legos, you name it. We used to go to my neighbor's house every day and take care of their kittens. And we played a game where we would run around the entire neighborhood with fake guns and kill each other for hours. We had so much fun. It was weird growing up and watching how I wasn't able to beat him up anymore as he started towering over me and growing huge muscles.
He is just the best. The coolest. Such a nice kid and good brother and friend. Love him. Oh and one more thing. He has quite the beard. Here are photoes of us doing neat things.

Football.



Cruisin'.



Cruisin' again.



Skiin'.



MGMTin'.



Hangin' looze. This was today.



Oh, and he's sixteen. You don't believe me do you.

day 10: the day i was a watermelon

What I wore today.



I love coral red. It is my eye's second favorite color.
I am loving up the Christmas tree while it's still here. I want it to be Christmas again. Forget summer and fall. Spring though, you are welcome for a while. But only a while. Then I am inviting over the White Witch of Narnia to kick you out.

day 9: what i beweave

WELL. I believe in God and Jesus Christ and that everything good and happy in the entire world comes from Them. And that They love me and each one of you and answer prayers and look out for us. And that They are EVERYWHERE. In all good things.
I believe if we follow what They want us to do, we will be so blessed. And everything They want us to do will protect us and make us happy. It is completely win-win. I love Them.
I believe people are put into our lives to help us grow and make us happy, and that things happen to us to make us stronger.
I believe we'll see people that are dead again someday.
I believe in luuurve and I believe it's the best thing in the world and can change anything for the better.
And I DON'T believe in coincidences. It all happens for a reason.

I also believe in capital punishment, that petting animals is therapeutic, that spiders were sent from HELL, and that aliens exist. Among other things.

day 8: un momento.

A moment? I've been pondering this all day. Any moment in my entire life, huh? K I've got one.

So two summers ago I stayed with my Grandparents in Michigan. I was there for a month when my mom and brother also came to join. And they brought a grand prize. My doggie Eddy and my much, MUCH missed kitty Chili.



(That's Chili. All of our cats are orange. We love Gingers, even in cat form.)
After a month in an animal-less home I was DYING to see my cat. We had wonderful bonding time, Chili and I. My Gran forbid him from my room but I snuck him in. We built card houses and made cookies and painted our nails and rode bikes. And we sat on the roof at sunset and viewed the world. Epic, right?? (ha) So we hung around for a bit then my brother and cousins and I went to Ohio for about a week. I told my Gran, "Take care of Chili and DON'T LET HIM OUTSIDE!!" And she said okay.
When we got back from Ohio I looked for Chili first thing. He was nowhere to be found.
I was getting scared. I finally found him in the deepest darkest corner of the garage curled up into a ball. I knew right off something was wrong because he didn't look up when I came close to him. I touched him and he cried. The worst noise I have ever beheld. I freaked. I picked him up. And he was like a ragdoll. He felt very lumpy, and so broken. I ran to my mom in hysterics and we rushed him to the vet. They said they would do everything they could for him. I got home and cried my eyes out. I knew what was going to happen. I just knew it.
Sure enough, my mom got a call. They'd put him to sleep because he had so many broken bones and internal bleeding. I told my Gran to not let him outside but he got out anyways, and prolly got hit by a car. I cried every night for a week. I can't express to you the amount of love I'd had for that silly cat. There is a whole separate part of your heart reserved for animals, I think. And when it breaks it's a certain kind of pain. It's horrible.

So now for the good, not horribly depressing part: On our way back to Utah, we stayed at my cousin's in Kansas for a week and a half. My mom and Aunt Sarah announced that they were making a Costco run. When they got back I was slumped on the couch with my back to the door, playing on a laptop. I yelled hello but didn't move. Then, the moment: suddenly, magically, miraculously, a hand appeared in front of my face and a perfect little orange kitten plopped right on my lap. I screamed and burst out crying simultaneously. 2 MUCH CUTE 2 HANDLE. All my cousins zapped as if magnetized right to me on the couch going "AWWWWW!!!! AWWWW!!!!!!!" And trying to pet him but I could not let him go. I was sooooooooo in heaven. We spent two days laboriously trying to find the perfect name for him. My cousin Olivia finally blurted out "Gary" and so it was done.



Aunt Sarah with baby Gary. I love that babe.

day 7: my best fren.

Well, I've got 11. Here they are.


The Ace Gang, Jade not pictured.
Shmeg: Ginger and the sweetest.
Ratch: The funniest and an absolute saint.
Charon: Can shake dat booty. She's our mom.
Ham: Bookworm and best to watch romances with. Beautiful hairs and skin.
Hadduh: Shares my obsession for cats and fashioon. Love it. Love it.
Alexxxx: Can beat up anyone and is a fantastic friend.
Linzo: Risk taker, riot maker, sly freaker. Not scared of anything. A crack up.
Britt-P: Best stories ever and laughs at everything and can make me laugh forever.
Shady: Works at a bowling alley. "Aaaarright!"
Kelpee: One of the most real people I know. Also hilarious and laughy.
Jerd: Incredible artist, best sense of humor of all times.

And then the ultimate best:


I miss texting that boy to all hours of the night and playing nazi zombies and snowboarding and watching the Office and talking about nonsense and going to aquariums and dancing in the kitchen and making up words. And and and forever and ever.

I literally would be a lost soul in the world without you people. LOVE YOU

day 6: what i did tuhday.

Day 5 was a day late, so I'm doing 2 today.

What I did today.
Woke up at the bumcrack of dawn to go skiing at The Canyons with pops & my bra.
Last time we went to The Canyons it was FREZZZING. It was not fun. But today was a perfect day.



Yes, we are very not skiing. Just taking a good hard sit for a minute.



And then we got separated...so I rode on the babiest chairlift of all time by myself. It was glorious.



Now I am home blogging and toasty warm. I love Sundees.

day 5: love def.

The question sought out by all of humanity that isn't extremely socially handicapped or hormone deficit. What is love? I think it is crazy. Just crazy. When you are in love you feel crazy. About everything. In the best fathomable way. Your insides are little squiggly worms. You can feel your carotid arteries thumping on your throat under the pressure of your crazy heart beating. Your breathing feels short when you imagine them cause of the giddiness. You want to buy them everything. And tie their shoelaces and button up their coat for them. You swell at the thought of their success and sink when they are upset. The minute you get into a fight you regret everything you said and only want things to be better again. The smell of their car makes you feel calm and their kisses make you explode inside. Every time. You ask them how they are because you genuinely want to know and their happiness is vitally important. There's no one else in the world except for the two of you. And you smile always. And when you aren't together, you feel like something is missing. There is a red light flashing in the back of your mind always reminding you of their gone-ness.

day 4: what i ate today (??)

Um this is a boring day. Besides, I spent literally 12 hours at school today with no breaks in between classes so I had no time to eat. But I will tell you what I wish I would have eaten.

BREAKFUST: Waffles. Waffles are so underestimated/downplayed. I, however, am a HUGE fan. Especially filled with chocolate chips or coated in fruity fruits and whippy cream. Yum. Maybe some German pancake too. Also probably some cheesecake. It's alright.

LUNCH: Perhaps some delicious sushi from Happy Sumo. Or maybe pizza. Or maybe some delectable soup from Zupa's. Or just an entire meal of breads. I love bread. Maybe all of the above? You only live once.

DIN: Cafe Rio of course. We all know that it supplies enough in one serving to last an entire day, if not two, but whatever. Everyone loves those food layer days. And why not honor Jesus with His favorite food? I'm sure it is. And I'm sure heaven is well stocked. Or else there is no justice in this world.